Too Much Time on My Hands

So now that I have so much time on my hands, you would think that I would have more time to actually write. Well, although I do have the time, I don't have much motivation. The pain is intense and I am just counting the minutes till I can take another pain killer. Sad, but true. I know that people get addicted to the stuff, so I'm trying to stretch it as much as possible. But sometimes it's just too much. I only take it for pain so I don't know why addicts enjoy it so much. It does make me sleepy though, is that the appeal?

I talk to friends and family daily, and even strangers (I talk to everyone!). Not a day goes by that someone does not mention how horrible the recovery is going to be. They stress that the pain will be intense. If what I'm feeling right now is not intense, I don't even want to imagine.

So I sit here and get depressed. I cry like a baby until I talk myself into remembering that others have it worse than I do.

Our bed is made up of 2 adjustable beds in a king size frame. Danny moved part of our bed downstairs. So now I sleep by myself in the office on the 1st floor. When he goes to work and the girls are at school/work I am alone. I am alone quite a bit now. Maybe I'll start tele-marketing! I've never minded being alone before, I guess it's just the situation.

Another thing weighing heavily on my mind are the med bills. We have insurance and all, but then the providers are not content with the 80-90% that they get paid. They come after us for the rest. With our governor trying to cut Fire Fighter jobs & pensions plus my not being able to do anything, Can't even babysit my Mya! Actually, I need a sitter myself!

I'm totally freaking out. You know, I actually had a doctor (that I had never met) walk into my hospital room to ask why I had decided to go with another surgeon. I looked online today and saw that he billed my insurance $400 for that! WTF???

Then there is our trip.  I've been looking forward to our trip in October for over a year.  Everything is booked & paid for. But I forgot to buy the insurance. Not that it would cover much, since I booked using miles & points and all the other good stuff. It's just the fact that they are telling me 5 more weeks in the brace and about 4 more months (at least) after that in PT. That's cutting it really close.

Anyhoo, I know all this is just rambling but remember, I'm on meds. I have an excuse!

Hope all is well with everyone!